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Articles

WHO'S THE BOSS?

THREE  REASONS WHY EPHESIANS 5:21-33 IS NOT
 ABOUT AUTHORITY IN MARRIAGE.

By Drs. Eddie L. Hyatt & Susan C. Hyatt

(This article is a brief summation of the arguments presented
in the Hyatt's new book by the same name.   Eddie's bio - Sue's bio

WHO'S THE BOSS? is probably the most commonly asked question among Christians concerning marriage.  The idea that the wife is to submit graciously to the leadership of the husband has become a sacred cow in Spirit-filled and Evangelical Christianity.  The favorite passage for advocates is Ephesians 5:21-33.

But is this position Biblically correct?  The answer to this important question is NO. 

REASON #1 - A MATTER OF CULTURE THE KIND OF MARRIAGE PRACTICED BY THE EPHESIANS INDICATES THAT THIS PASSAGE IS NOT ABOUT AUTHORITY

The form of marriage practiced by the Ephesians was known as "marriage without hand," meaning "marriage without commitment." In this pagan model, the wife remained under the authority of her father or the oldest male in her birth family.  Since the wife's family could remove her at any time, uncertainty destabilized the marriage relationship.

Furthermore, a father-in-law could pressure the husband to do his bidding by threatening to "recall" the wife.  This could be especially trying for Christian couples since a pagan father-in-law could threaten to remove his daughter unless she and her husband renounced their faith.

Important in this discussion is the meaning of the Greek word hupotasso, translated by the English word "submit" in this passage.  An informed study of the meaning, as opposed to a biased, cursory rendering, clearly reveals Paul's intended meaning as being "to identify with." It has nothing to do with "being put under." The Ephesians' readers understood what Paul really meant: A married woman was no longer to identify with her birth family but was, instead, to identify completely with her husband; and the two were to be one.

REASON #2 - A GRAMMATICAL ISSUE PAUL BEGINS THIS DISCUSSION OF MARRIAGE WITH A CALL FOR MUTUAL SUBMISSION.

That "submit" in this passage has nothing to do with subordination to authority is further clarified by the fact that Paul begins this discussion in vs. 21 with a call for Christians to identify with one another.  It reads, "Submitting yourselves [all believers} to one another in the fear of Christ."  It is a call to solidarity, loyalty, and all that such intimate commitment demands.  And it works in both directions equally; it is unilateral.  It is mutual; it is not male-dominated.

In vs. 22, most of our English translations have Paul saying, Wives, submit to (hupotasso) your own husbands as to the Lord (NKJV).  But the word “submit” is not found in the Greek! It was inserted by translators.  The passage literally reads, wives to your own husbands.  This means that the verb for vs. 22 is found in vs. 21.  This means that disposition of "submission" expected in vs. 22 must be the same as that required among all believers in vs. 21.

This model of mutual identification fits with Paul's other teaching about marriage found in 1 Corinthians 7, which is actually his most extensive teaching on marriage.  In this chapter, Paul addresses husbands and wives separately; and in each instance, he gives exactly the same responsibility and "authority" to each.  There is perfect mutuality throughout the chapter.  Neither is to exercise authority over the other.  In fact, Paul alternates between men and women twelve different times in this passage; and, as Gordon D. Fee points out, "In every case there is complete mutuality between the two sexes." [Gordon D. Fee, The First Epistle to the Corinthians (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1987), 270].  Why haven't we heard teaching on marriage from 1 Cor. 7?

REASON #3 - A SIGNIFICANT WORD PAUL'S CHOICE OF THE GREEK WORD KEPHALE ("HEAD") INDICATES THAT THIS IS NOT ABOUT RULERSHIP

The meaning of this passage has been distorted because of the assumption that kephale means "ruler," "leader," or "boss" in the same way that the English "head" can carry this figurative meaning.  We now know that this assumption is wrong.  Unbiased research reveals that had Paul wanted to convey the idea of "authority," he would have chosen the word archon.  This word, archon conveys the idea of authority, rulership, or leadership.

Kephale means "source." This is important because it teaches the Ephesians that women were created from the same substance as men.  It refutes the pagan idea that women were made of an inferior substance between that of man and animal.  Paul, therefore, undermines this pagan notion by referring to the man as the kephale ("source") of the woman in creation and exhorts husbands to love their wives as their own bodies (vs. 23).  She is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, (Gen. 2:23)--a fitting and equal partner.

This rendering is neither bizarre nor fringe but is, in fact, confirmed by the best research in the field.  For example, one of the most complete Greek lexicons, Liddell, Scott, Jones and McKenzie, list various meanings for kephale, but it does not list "authority over, " "ruler," "boss" or anything similar as a definition.  Berkeley and Alvera Mickelsen, in their study of headship in the Septuagint discovered that when the word ro'sh ("head") was used figuratively to mean "source" or "beginning," the translators used kephale.  However, when ro'sh was used figuratively to mean "ruler" or "boss" (e.g., the head of the tribe of Judah), the translators used archon meaning "ruler." Many other Evangelical scholars, including F. F. Bruce, Catherine Kroeger, and David Scholer, concur.  Some disagree, not because of lack of evidence, but because of a prior commitment to "male headship."

SO WHO'S THE BOSS?

The idea that Eph.5:21-33 teaches that man is the boss is incorrect and harmful.  It does not harmonize with Biblical teaching as a whole.  Nor is it true to the literary or cultural contexts in which it was written.  As with all error, it has caused untold damage, in this case, to individuals and to Christian marriage.  Further, it quenches the gifts and abilities of women by telling them that they must always fill a subservient role.  And it puts ungodly pressure on men by demanding that they function in areas for which God may not have gifted them.  Also, studies show that this model has contributed to rampant domestic abuse in the Church.  So, WHO's THE BOSS?  For a truly successful marriage, there can be only one--the Lord Jesus Christ. 

For a thorough discussion, see WHO'S THE BOSS? by Eddie & Susan Hyatt.  It can be ordered by sending an e-mail to  drsuehyatt@live.com.   Their snail mail address is Drs. Eddie & Susan Hyatt, P. O. Box 3877, Grapevine, TX 76099-3877, USA

 

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